OK, I'll play...

Nisqually River, April of 1983. We were fishing a ways below McKenna, in an area called Upper Kahuna. (Awesome fishing with red/white spoons back then, but I digress) My cuz was hung over as you could get. At the trail head, about a half mile from the river, he proclaims "I gotta take a s##t"!!" "Well", i said, "Take some butt mop with you, in case." "Nah", he sez, "Ill be fine." Mind you, he was only wearing hip boots (no socks), jeans (no undies) and a flannel shirt (no t-shirt). You all know where this is going, right?

We get down to the river, and the bite is on. I hook a hot native, and there my cousin stands with that look on his face. I say, "Come here and help me land my fish" "I can't, I'm gonna s##t my pants!!! So off into the woods he goes, leaving me to fight and land the steelhead myself. Shortly, I hear a scream. The thin log he was perched on snapped, causing him to fall directly into his...well, you know. A bit runny, it was. I can just see this all transpiring from my rock point, with same fish still on. Now that he is laying backwards in the good stuff, which was in deep beach sand, now his backside and lower back is well "breaded" with last night's Schlitz Malt Liquor and sand. And ants. LOTS of ants. Anyone that has fished the Nisqually back in the day will testify to that.

So, let's recount...Fish on, cousin with pants down covered with sand, poop and ants, now yelling at me to givre him som sort of wiping fodder. NO TP, no socks, no t-shirt, no undies. "Give me your t-shirt"!!! Now, I'm laughing. Fish still on, he's waddling with his pants around his ankles down to the river's edge. He squats on a roc in shallow water and begins to splash river water on his butt, yelling to the heavens "Somebody help me!!!"

I'm done. The steelhead makes a final book for freedom and snaps my rod at the ferrule, I'm too paralyzed with laughter to get off my knees to care. Then, suddenly, out of the trail comes a fisherman! He stops in his tracks, looks downriver to see a naked man splashing water on his ass, then looks upstream to see a guy with a broken rod an his knees roaring in hysterics playind a steelhead. Without a word, he turned and left....

My cousin then proclaims to the myself and the world, "You better not tell anyone about this!!!Ever!!!"

Don't worry, man....heheheheheheh!!!!!!

Ah, memories...