Have you heard that many research workers have started using lawyers instead of rats? They give three reasons:

1. There is less likelihood of developing an emotional attachment to a lawyer than to a rat.

2. Lawyers proliferate faster than rats.

3. And, of course, you can get lawyers to do things that a rat would never do.

All in fun; all of my lawyer acquaintances thought (or appeared to think) it was funny.
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PS