"When I was in college I was a bartender at the Coug. Chuck comes in one night for a few. He was in town for some conf. or speach. He chases a few sorority girls around until closing time. My friends and I hit it off with him and gave him free beer. We then take him back to our place for some after hours drinking. He ends up passed out on my floor with a stack of playboys and an empty bottle of tequila."

Hell... there's yer problem right there king! What are ya doin bringin' a middle-aged man home... when ya shoulda been chasin' them sorority girls!