Aunty,
It's unfortunate you're so
turned off by Christianity-- It seems as though your only knowledge and/or exposure to it is the gloom and doom, fire and brimstone judgement that you always talk about. There are some churches that unfortunately give that impression to people--but what you and others (including many of those who describe themselves as Christians) don't get about salvation~is that according to the Bible, God states clearly that we don't earn our way into Heaven by our acts or 'good deeds'--if the was the cost of entry no one could ever afford it--We are given the gift of forgivenes for our sins (or transgretions) and eternal life for the price of reaching out to him (God) with faith and accepting his Son as our Savior.
The 'conditions' you speak of (living our lives free of sin and following God's rules as outlined in the Bible) are not required to get into heaven itself~but rather a guide for living here on earth with the most ease, peacefullness, joy and fullfilment as is possible.
ALL those who a become Christians will invarably sin or fall short of what God wants from us at some point. The story of the Prodigal Son is a great illustration into God's unconditional love for his children:
The Parable of the Lost Son
11Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.
13"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' 20So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.[b]'
22"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.
25"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'
28"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'
31" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "
