A good friend of mine (RIP) used to leave "creative" phone messages if I wasn't available to take his call at the office. Two classics:
!. "This is Chuck's doctor, Dr. Peter Gozinya, tell him that the tests came back positive and he better come in to start his series of penicillin shots as soon as possible."
2. "This is Chuck's attorney and tell him that if he doesn't want to show up for the paternity hearing, it's up to him but if he ends up having to pay child support for the next 20 years, don't blame me!" He insisted that the receptionist give me the message immediately as he knew I was in a board meeting with my boss and the board of directors, two of whom he knew.
Damn - I wish he hadn't been cut short too early by a brain tumor. He was a real class guy. He was an NK grad of 1965 and former ER PA in Forks and PA.