Several years ago, I found this in a Walla Walla phone book of all places, so I photo copied it and have had it ever since. Have to say these are pretty accurate...although one time I was in a cranky mood and used #1. That was BAD scene.


Rules that Men Wished Women Knew

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat; it it's up, put it down.

3. Birthdays, valentines, and anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present once again.

4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

5. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

6. Sunday = football. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

7. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

8. Shopping is not a sport.

9. You have enough clothes.

10. You have too many shoes.

11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

12. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

13. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers.

14. Headaches lasting 17 days are a problem. See a doctor.

15. Your mother doesn't have to be our best friend.

16. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissable in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

17. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other.

18. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

19. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done, but not both.

20. Please confine your talking to commercials.