It was that evening when I felt like a bonafide American man. It wasn't too hard to buckle down after a day of shooing away anti-American communists. At supper I looked genuinely into the eyes of my family, in the comfort of my own home, and wondered how anyone would ever want to take this away from me. After supper my trophy wife took me in the bedroom and tucked me in real nice. I laid there like a cozy burrito as she massaged my feet. Just before she turned off the lamp, she whispered in my ear "chuck, your my 99%." At that moment I felt like the American Hero. I dowsed off and thanked the lord for this country.