I am conflicted among some excellent choices.

It would be a lot of fun to have FreshPrince figure out how to deal with his new position. He might continue to be his irreverent self or might transmogrify into a net Nazi. I vote he would actually do well.

Toddster already has unofficial Mod status so a vote for him would be irrelevant. Keep status quo there.

Brewer comes in between FP and Todd, I know him and he is a good guy but I will not blow his cover as to how he would respond. He would also do well but he would decline the position, but how he would do it would maintain his status as the most interesting man.

If I were a mod, which was an original question: I would revise the code of conduct so that it meant something, create a section where everyone could be as freaky with each other as desired (members only) but keep it off the rest of the board , and then enforce the code of conduct on the rest of the site. Kinda like ar15.com

Then I would immediately resign my position to JG, Todd, and Hankster.