Wow...I am sure like many others, my list of screw-up's is as long as SOL wishes his Johnson was...

Here is one from the more recent file...

Early Oct. 2005 found me tossing my home-made Colorado spinners for Coho from the bow of my old Clacka. I was on anchor, and since the front bench was removed for the days fishing (I was out solo) I just stepped up to the knee brace moulded in the bow and proceeded to cast into a big pool of pond water that was sure to hold a few fresh Ho's.

Rather than an overhead back-cast, (and due to a bad rotator cuff) I often use a backhand/backflip style of cast. I can cast just as far as an overhead back-cast, but without the shoulder pain associated with it.

Well, since I was fishing solo, I was wearing my Stearns inflatable vest. the "release handle" was hanging out of the pocket, and during one of the backhand casts the yellow handle apparently caught up in my sleeve, but I didn't realize it at the moment.

Just as the spinner hits the water I hear this big WHOOSH, and thinking to myself "what the hell was that???", I soon realized I was puffing up like a green Pillsbury Dough Boy!

Did a quick look around to see if anyone else had seen this clamity, but fortunately I had the river to myself that day and no one was in sight to witness (or laugh) at the site.

I was surprised at how tight that vest got, and had to quickly find the release valve (didn't know where it was till then!) and let the air out of the vest so normal breathing could resume! (I loosened the straps after this, so if I am in the water and have to use the vest I won't suffocate while floating along).

At least I found out the thing would work, if used!

Mike

How about having an excellent day catching silvers and king on the Duc so you call your wife to get over to Forks, bring the kids, they're in thick. Then you call your dad, get over here. They show up late that night. Next day you take them to the island below the sandrock hole and proceed to get stranded out there when the water rises real fast. Oh, we caught fish, but getting stuck overnight on an island, having to get rescued, and having your story all over the news isn't the best way to make the wife happy that you made her drive all the way over there and walk through that muddy trail. I don't think that was her idea of spending the night with me on a remote island.

Back before I grew up, I hit the "fish whistle" and waded out into the river with my hip boots still folded down. January, but I stayed out all day anyway.

So far I think I like iso chrome's best, but I suspect this thread is still in its infancy.

I've done innumerable stupid things on the river, and luckily I've selectively deleted most of them so that I still occasionally like to hang out with myself. The best non-deleted one that comes to mind (similar to one of the ones above) would be pulling an all-nighter after med school exams to drive to this killer zipperlip stream that I'd heard was on fire. After the 5 hour drive I pull on my waders only to realize I got no boots. Wading wet was not an option so I drove my sorry a$$ home like the biggest loser on the planet,

fb

At a derby this year I saw a boat fly up to the dock right at the weigh in deadline. Guy jumps out with a money winner fish only to drop it in the drink. Goodbye fish and money.

I think the best one is leaving bait in the boat like herring in a cooler...

But my favorite rookie mistakes (I've never done any of them just FYI) are:

1.Not putting the plug in the boat before you launch it, then you launch it, and then you realize you are just screwed and you rush it back to the launch to get it back on a trailer....

2. Forgetting Boat keys: self explanatory

3. Picking up the downrigger ball and going to put it on the clip when its hanging over the boat but the downrigger spool is loose as s**t so when you clip it on the ball just goes tearing down.

4. Going in to dock and you have fixed mount downriggers that hang over the boat and you go in and as your docking your downriggers become your bumbers against the pilings.

5. Screwing up a net job...

Getting way to psyched up while driving and looking at the river. I stop at a good hole and decide this is where I'll start the fishing day. I hop out of the rig to get my gear out of the back. As I head towards the back, I wonder why my rig is moving. Sure as hell, I'd hopped out and left my rig running and in drive. I think that is the fastest I've ever reacted to anything.

These are great.

One day my cousin and I were floating a small river in our pontoons. At one point there is a log all the way across the river. The right end is over deeper water while the rest of it bottomed out in knee deep water with maybe 6" sticking out. It is an alder so there aren't any real branches on it. Water is moving over an average gravel bottom about the speed of a fast walk. I just pull to the left and go over it with a little back and forth "scoochin''. Cuz comes around the corner and decides that I went under the thing.

I'm like "no you dumbsh!t go left, go left!" He realizes about 10 feet too late that he won't have the clearance and starts heading left. He didn't get the toon straightened out before he hit the log, and he nailed it sideways and stopped. Here is the rookie part:

His boat starts bucking in the current a little, but is slowly inching over the log anyways, it isn't sinking or anything it is just off balance and bouncing. All he needed to do was get his feet on the log and push off, but he is too freaked out. He does a half roll and bails! I'm like WTF, he hits the water and pulls his rip cord on his Stearns inflatable, gets his feet around in front of him like he learned at rafting school, and braces for the ride, it is fully inflated about the time his ass hits the bottom, see the problem was this whole thing took place in 18" water!

He stood up with the vest all blown up around his head, and his boat worked free after he bailed. He was standing there trying to get his vest off from his neck when his boat hit him in the back of the legs. That freaked him out and he started running downstream. I was like WTF is he doing now! He told me later that he thought the log worked free and was going to run his ass over.

Man that was funny.

Other rookie mistakes.

Using the gaff hook to bonk a fish, breaking the gaff. Then breaking the other gaff the same way 15 minutes later.

Promising your wife you'll be home by <insert time>.

Geeez guys and gals, what a bunch of losers. I CAN HONESTLY TELL YOU I HAVE NEVER DONE ANY OF THOSE THINGS.


ha HA HA

Keep smiling, great posting idea!

Cutting the main line when you meant to trim up the tag end of a knot.

Crapping on your wader straps in the bushes.

A couple others-

I have friends who used to owned a raft rental busdiness on the Yakima River. My buddy and I had rented a raft from them to do some fishing. Another couple of guys showed up to rent a raft also, but just to float the river, not fish. We loaded up the rafts and headed upriver to the put in.
We get the rafts unloaded and get ready to launch. My buddy who owns the rafts gets ready to take off. One of the guys in the other raft then asks with a bewildered look on his face " Which way do I go?". My friend turns around and says "most folks go down river, but you can go upriver if you'd like". I couldn't stop laughing the whole day.

This one was conveyed to me by a buddy. He was fishing on the Yellowstone River. The put-in was at a bridge. One of the fellows he was fishing with was a fairly well know physician. After floating many miles on the river, they approached the take out, which was also at a bridge. At this point, the physicians says, "Hey, I recognize this place, this is where we started this morning". My buddy said the guide had to drop the anchor because he couldn't row due to laughing so hard. He always jokes now about having floated the worlds only round river.

Two stories come to mind........

My buddy and I were trolling plugs for coho in the Snohomish. He had his rod butt on the floor next to his feet and the rod propped up and under a tie-down cleat on the sled's side. Fish hits plug, he sets hook, rod snaps in two, fish gone.

My story. Just got new 17' fishing boat and was launching it by myself on a narrow, steep launch. Tried to do a u-turn to back down the launch, but the truck(a twin-cab, long-bed) was too long to do the turn and I got myself jackknifed. Decided the only thing to do was to unhook boat trailer then finish turning the truck. The second the trailer got unhitched from the truck, the weight of the boat started it down the launch. I was sitting on my butt being dragged down the launch holding the trailer tongue. A guy sees my predicament and runs over and jams his foot under one of the trailer tires and stops it. I felt really stupid and I still have gravel in my a$$ to this day.

Tidewater bobber fishing. I was hot that day lots of takedowns and fish on. I was by myself and other boats are starting to notice and move in on my spot. I am holding my rod in one hand and coffee cup in the other. Bobber down and threw hot coffee in my eyes and fell off the cooler I was sitting on. Did anyone on this board witness that one, there was a lot of people laughing at me?

Was in a float tube and was having a good time. I was mid lake when I realized I had to piss. I started paddling as fast as possible, but was getting cramped real bad (it is not good to drink a lot of liquid pre-float tubing), so I had to keep stopping. As I got closer to the bank the pressure was mounting, bad. But I could not find a good spot to get out, the bank was just mushy grass and mud. I was starting to panick, so I just headed over to a shallow area and stood up, it was about thigh deep with a mush bottom, jerked down my waders, and aaaahhh! The issue was that I was sinking in the muck faster than my bladder was emptying (either I was sinking or the lake was rising, I never figured it out). My waders were bunched right below the outlet point and I had a bout 2" to spare over the top of them but I was still sinking. Imagine the choice I had to make . . . ship water or piss myself. Here is the rookie mistake: I pissed myself. Piss will chafe your ass in a float tube, in about 10 minutes. It took me 25 minutes to get the damn flipper unstuck from the mud, and I had a 1.5 mile hike to the car in pissed pants. I ended up walking back in hiking boots and boxers. Gold Bond for a week like I was 65 years old.

Reading the fishing regs to see when Reiter opens and not noticing the closure sign on the building on your walk down.

Get to Reiter and notice the place is empty and thinking your in luck, second cast fish on. Yell a yahoo as the guy across the river yells, "I'm calling the warden these are closed waters".

What can't hear you the water is running hard

"I'm calling the warden these are closed waters".

Whhhhhaaaaat

"I'm calling the warden these are closed waters".


Oh crap

Launching a 1972 18' lavro with a motor well inside off, a 15 to 20 foot drop off on the upper queets 14 years ago with out a rope tied off to the trailer for back up as this barge shot off the trailer and out of me and a buddies hands as the other guy was getting his waders on.Needless to say the fiber glass bottom was really really slick and fast.The boat ended up in the middle of the river and headed down stream towards a huge log jam,about ten feet from the jam was an alder about 10" round that caught the ass end of the transom and the drifter was just sitting there perfectly out of reach,my buddy shimmies out on this 10" round alder and jumps in the boat and pulls over to the jam ties it off and said lets head into aberdeen and get some new oars as the 10' counter balanced yellow sawyers didn't float as they flew out on it's desent to the river.I said to my partner fuk the boat we only paid $800.00 for it I'm not spending $300.00 on new oars and then shimming out on the jam.Well he won.By the way that ole barge is still in the back yard.Good luck,
STRIKE ZONE

Shutting the door on your rod tip

Having the reel fall off the rod becasue the seat wasnt tight.

Not clasping the snap swivel.

Falling in the river for any reason (excuse).

Setting your alarm clock to 330 PM instead of 330 AM

Catching lots of 'tree fish' either on the back cast or on the other side of the river.

In the 70's my grandpa and I were going salmon fishing at the mouth of the Satsop. We were launching the boat when he gives it a big push and I didn't have the rope. Boat and motor end up in the middle of the river. Lucky for us it was high tide so there wasn't much current. While I'm running up to the parking lot to see if anybody's around, he roots around in the truck and finds a spare rod with a spinner tied on, casts out into the boat, hooks the seat, and reels it in.

Another time my grandpa, grandma, brother and I are trolling around the outlet at Lake Quinault. Chris and I hear grandma say "what's that say?" and on the west point of the outlet we see a big plywood sign that somebody spray painted in big letters "lick my balls". We still laugh about that one.

All of the above, and then some more, except the one about crapping on my wader straps. Multiple plugs lost due to poor knot
tying skills, buddies plug thrown overboard after retreiveing it from a snag (dry martini induced), done for the day after hooking brush on back-cast, resulting in the mother of all birdsnests..Over indulging on aforementioned dry martini's resulting in having to sit in bottom of drift boat so's not to fall overboard for most of the drift. Crackering off a nice steelie on the Sky, hooked on a tadpolly, for some reason thought I had to set the hook... Busted rod tips,..losing pliers, knives, glasses (that really sucked, as I couldn'nt see without them for tying knots)... After all of that, I'm STILL a cracker!!!!