How do you feel about children skipping grades?

My daughter just aced her End-of-Year tests for first grade and the school year has hardly even started.

I'd like to keep her academically challenged, so she doesn't become bored and start acting out, but I also worried about emotional challenges and social development when it comes to being thrown into a pond full of bigger fish. (That was my fishing reference.)

Has anyone here skipped, or had children skip, or just wishes to opine on the matter?

I went against the grain and wouldnt let my daughter jump ahead like everyone wanted her to. Instead they had a special program I found out about where they bus her to the local Jr.High for classes half of her school day..That way she still gets half the day around kids her age and can still participate in the activities that kids her age do..This started 2 years ago and things are going well..

Our middle child was born the end of August. We chose to have her wait to start school till the next year. This kid has excelled to the max. 4.0 grades all the way, senior at William Penn University and still holding the 4.0 GPA. Also still playing softball since way back. Saved me alot of $$ with a softball scholarship.

It's a tough call, good luck!

I think they've got the grade school academics dumbed down to accomodate the average student. If your kid is performing above average you are doing her a dis-service by not moving her up a grade.

I think Sol brings up a good point. Back in the day, they never moved a kid forward, but they sure as hell kept them back. The rest of the class learned what was presented and the dumb kids either got it or got a chance to do it all over again. They don't do that now. Everybody passes, everybody wins.

Side note: Remember when the kid that flunked wound up in your class ?? That kid had a chip on his shoulder and proceeded to bully and pound on every kid that even look sideways at him. I guess I was in 4th or 5th grade. Some kid who was a year ahead of me got held back and wound up in the desk behind me for the year. Longest year of my life. Not only was he stupid, he was tough. After about his 3,000 th threat I decide enough was enough, took my bros advice and decided to go ahead and meet him after school in the vacant lot. I'd like to say other wise, but he kicked the crap outa me. On the plus side, he never bothered me again and moved on to other, bigger things to pick on.

That's a fact.

She's already the youngest kid in her class by six months. I think where I'm at now is to start shopping around the Oly School district for schools with Gifted Programs. Her Elementary is tiny, with only 2 classes for each grade. If we do decide to skip her ahead I think we'll wait a year for her to get more socially adapted.

On a side note-
One of the things that chap my ass about this area are these hippy new-age douchebags that by fertility treatments later in life (40's-50's) and crap out thier little test tube darling who they spoil rotten. Some of the kids at her school are refugees from The Waldorf School and have ZERO reading math ability and almost NO social skills. These kids get into the public system and sap the teachers time trying to get them caught up. These are the same parents that throw a tantrum because their little angel didn't get to be the star in the class play.

You have really hit on a tough subject. In my opinion there is more to school than learning, actually memorizing, theorems and dates. School is where kids learn social skills, not just being social but actually how to get along with others, skills that will serve them for the rest of their life.

Robert Fulghum titled a book called "All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten". If you think about it there is a lot of truth in that title.

I don't know if you would be doing a disservice to your child if you didn't move them ahead or not. Likewise would you be doing a disservice if you did? Children don't like to be different and immediately your child will be the different kid in the new class.

There are, or should be, programs for advance learners in school that allow your child to be with their peers and still learn at the pace they are comfortable with. I remember friends in the Oly school district that took classes from the high school while still in middle school. They were advanced and still stayed with all of their friends.

I guess what I am saying is you really need to look at the child and only you will know if your child is ready and can handle it or not. Don't do it or not do it based on what you want. Don't do it just to say "my kid is a genius and skipped a grade".

The most important thing, in my opinion, is to instill a desire to learn and a thirst for knowledge in kids. It is what we are trying to do with our own children.

You have a tough decision and it is good that you are concerned with making the right decision. That is commendable in a parent, and lacking in many I am afraid.

Merch

Aunty's right-- not all douchebags are New-Agers. It's not fair of me to debase all douchebags in that way. I apologize.

Anyway,

My philosophy as a parent is to make my child into a well-functioning adult. Period.
Im not trying to live vicariously through her, or make her some sort of superstar, or make some kind of clone of myself. I figure if she can graduate college before she gets knocked up/married, and she makes it through life without needing therapy and a drug habit, I've done my job as a parent.

Irie, you forgot jail. It would be nice if the kids stayed out of jail also.

I never knew there was a term for the " Hippi New Age Douchbags" but I can totally relate to the 40 + crowd deciding to have kids after living the life of " me me me me me me me me ... first"

Kind of funny, we have some friends who hated kids. They thought my kids were a pain in "their " ass because we could not just drop everything and do or go anyplace "they" wanted. So later in life, they decide to have a kid.. funny thing is, my kids are gone for the most part and now " we" can do whatever we want. So now, they view "their " little angle as something that should be loved by all their friends, and accommodate them at all times. Screw em. They treated my kids like crap while they were growing up. In one case they think my 16 year old was put on this earth just to baby sit for them while they go out and live the life they are accustomed too.. Not gonna happen. They can deal with it. Imagine this.. they were every sort of pissed that I would not change my plans to come to little Angles second birthday party.. like I really care about that.

In my experience ( insert part where this does not apply to every single one) those parents are so used to getting everything the way they want it , when they want it are crappy parents. And the thing is, regardless of how this sounds when their kid is old enough to talk and be around me I'll be really nice to him or her. Unlike their spoiled assed parents were to mine.

That might be off topic.

I agree that there's little reason to worry about monstrous academic achievements at this age. It's not like she has to graduate from college by age 17, so I think the social ramifications of being young for her grade are a greater hindrance to her than moving her ahead would be an advantage.

Of course, this is only my opinion and it's worth approximately what you paid for it.

Why, thank-you, or were you refering to yourself!

[quote=stam]

The biggest dumbass stoners from middle school seem to be the most successful adults,

Encourage sports.

stam [/quot

I'm still pretty much just an older version of the younger loser that I was in HS.

That's true. I could 1-hit a whole bong-bowl back then and now I'm Mr. Suburbia.

Irie,

At your daughter's age it most likely won't matter a great deal whether she stays with her age group or advances one grade. I'd be most concerned with having her in the best (most optimal) academic and social environment. Moving up or down one year during the early elementary school period isn't going to have any significant adverse long term effect if that move places her in the academic and social environment she's most comfortable in.

My oldest daughter started kindergarten a year early. It was the best overall decision. She was slower socially, but adapted so to speak in a short while. However she was never challenged academically until she took honors physics in high school. She finally met academic challenge when she entered a small private college where half her classmates were from private prep schools. Unfortunately she never fit in socially as well as a parent would wish. That wouldn't have happened if she had started school one, two, three, or four years later. One of the perils of genius is being a social misfit during youth. When she was 5 she was going on 16, when she was 12 she was going on 26, etc. But not fitting in until you're at Smith or Stanford can be a good thing in the long run.

Good luck.

Sincerely,

Salmo g.

Lots of good advice. My oldest is 4 and I see myself falling into all kinds of traps already. Like thinking she is destined for a college scholarship because she scored 5 goals in a U-5 game (Pufferfish - FTW!) the other day (even though I was the only one keeping count, in my head).

One thing that I've noticed is that real talent, be it academic, athletic, and especially in the work force (not counting working for the government), will always win out over mediocrity. If she is truly gifted at something, as long as you do a good job and keep her from drugs/pregnancy/jail/bowling alleys/etc I think that she will be successful in the real world, where the talent actually counts.

"My philosophy as a parent is to make my child into a well-functioning adult. Period."

I used to feel this way when I was younger but I reached the point where I'd be happy if my sons weren't living in my basement at the age of 30.

Sounds like everone has some good arguments for both sides. I don't really think one grade level at a young age makes much diffrence. If you move her up she will probably adjust fairly quickly as kids do. Some times you have to look at you kid and decide what would be best for them. If she likes being challenged i would move her up a grade before she gets bored and stops trying to learn. My experiance is the other way my oldest son has ADD. after first grade them wanted to move him on to second and put him in special classed. We talked with the school and his doctors and they wanted to put him on medication and move him on. We are very hesitante to put him on medication so we faught with the school to hold him back and last year he really started dealing with his ADD on his own and passed without medication or special classes. I really think we did the right thing we will find out this year so far he is doing good in second grade.

just my 2 cents

Congrats, and thanks for having a child with some brains. It's refreshing.

Let her skip if that's something she is also interested in doing. We don't grow physically all at the same uniform rate, neither do we intellectually.

Any parent who is faced with a choice like yours is doing a pretty good job already. Any decision you make will probably be the right one.

VHawk

I'm not a parent, but I will present the pragmatist's answer. Try it to see if she likes it and does well. If it's too much for her, you can drop her back. I'm pretty sure the school system would let you do that to keep the stats up for the grade she skipped. If she excels, you have given her an opportunity that may not present itself in the future. If she drops back to the suggested level for her age, she has lost nothing.