#714638 - 11/01/11 10:45 AM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: snit]
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Juvenile at Sea
Registered: 08/12/08
Posts: 172
Loc: Puyallup, WA
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Looks like Chelan? With the BMW hat and the backdrop you need a bigger boat and a second home on the lake. Cute GF. Good luck....you have to live with your decisions. Good advice here..just got to sort through through the chaff You are correct. My family has a cabin on the water near manson. Pretty nice during the summer. The only problem is, I do not have a boat, yet! Maybe this year I'll make a few more friends who have a boat and are looking to slay some mackinaw and smallmouth. Trade off, stay at my cabin on the water! Win win! The problem we have is we live about an hour away from eachother (hopefully change here in the next year) which makes it tough to see eachother during the week. Long story, but she has to come south to see me during the week. I usually go north on the weekends. And when I want to go fishing, whatever the reason... new rain, invited on a boat last minute, etc. its hard to jump on the opportunity when its not planned a week in advance. I told her from now until January 31, 2012, plan on me fishing every sunday. So she can't say I didn't tell her  My way of overcoming her objection. All in all, we've made it 3 years and are continuing to get better. Just takes a lot of communication and understanding the others needs. Being in a relationship does take sacrifice, however there are also a lot of benefits. For me, the benefits of this relationship outweigh the sacrifices. PS This topic seems to hit home for a lot of you! Hence the 5 star rating!
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#714650 - 11/01/11 11:54 AM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: Todd]
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Dah Rivah Stinkah Pink Mastah
Registered: 08/23/06
Posts: 6869
Loc: zipper
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I don't have to explain myself, because I explained it all at the beginning, and showed exactly what I explained by demonstration soon afterwards, and often since.
I make plans to do stuff with her on some weekends, and when I make plans, I keep them...I do not blow her off, or go fishing instead of doing what I said I'd do, which is hang out with her.
you either go fishing, or you don't...and it's not up to her, it's up to you.
Todd
Here it is in a nutshell.
_________________________
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Propping up an obsolete fishing industry at the expense of sound fisheries management is irresponsible. -Sg
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#714677 - 11/01/11 01:10 PM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: fish4brains]
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River Nutrients
Registered: 02/14/06
Posts: 2540
Loc: Elma
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Thanks The Closer. This thread makes much more sense now.
You should quit fishing.
_________________________
WDFW - Turning outdoorsmen into golfers since 1994.
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#714679 - 11/01/11 01:23 PM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: Rocket Red]
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Juvenile at Sea
Registered: 08/12/08
Posts: 172
Loc: Puyallup, WA
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Thanks The Closer. This thread makes much more sense now.
You should quit fishing. Never!
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#714749 - 11/01/11 05:17 PM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: ClearCreek]
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Alevin
Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 10
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I just never got the "I have to ask her/him before i____."
I would approach this issue by explaining the importance of the activity to you. In my mind, marriage doesn't entitle anyone to be mom/dad, jailer, ball and chain, nag, the ol man/lady. It is an equal partnership, not a jail sentence in which one has to ask "Permission". Now obviously, some things are not negotiable in my mind, and deal breakers, but crap... working 60+ hours a week, dealing with all the stress we all have to bear these days, we all need some sort of relief valve.
Second marriage for me. I thought about the things that made me happy, then luckily found a SO that enjoys the same things. Very fortunate, maybe, but i wasnt' looking for a golfer, soccer player etc. i dont like those things and dont do them. Hookin up with some one who does would have been gravely inconsiderate on my part. Married 20 years, and having a blast.
by the looks of the picture, she not only can run a boat, but appears to enjoy it... I think you are closer than you think to a resolution. Maybe its just that if you are hopping a ride, obviously she cant go along all the time, and probably doesnt want to but she feels left out. ask her, perfectly understandable. Get yourselves a boat for a wedding present... and take her fishin...after of course you have a serious talk.. iron it out before.. because it won't get easier after...
good luck.
Edited by ibfishin2 (11/01/11 05:22 PM)
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#714750 - 11/01/11 05:27 PM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: ibfishin2]
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Spawner
Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 763
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_________________________
Killin's my business and business is good.
Most people suck at internet........
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#714771 - 11/01/11 06:20 PM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: ibfishin2]
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Juvenile at Sea
Registered: 08/12/08
Posts: 172
Loc: Puyallup, WA
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I just never got the "I have to ask her/him before i____."
I would approach this issue by explaining the importance of the activity to you. In my mind, marriage doesn't entitle anyone to be mom/dad, jailer, ball and chain, nag, the ol man/lady. It is an equal partnership, not a jail sentence in which one has to ask "Permission". Now obviously, some things are not negotiable in my mind, and deal breakers, but crap... working 60+ hours a week, dealing with all the stress we all have to bear these days, we all need some sort of relief valve.
Second marriage for me. I thought about the things that made me happy, then luckily found a SO that enjoys the same things. Very fortunate, maybe, but i wasnt' looking for a golfer, soccer player etc. i dont like those things and dont do them. Hookin up with some one who does would have been gravely inconsiderate on my part. Married 20 years, and having a blast.
by the looks of the picture, she not only can run a boat, but appears to enjoy it... I think you are closer than you think to a resolution. Maybe its just that if you are hopping a ride, obviously she cant go along all the time, and probably doesnt want to but she feels left out. ask her, perfectly understandable. Get yourselves a boat for a wedding present... and take her fishin...after of course you have a serious talk.. iron it out before.. because it won't get easier after...
good luck. True, but addicts have a tough time balancing priorities 
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#714783 - 11/01/11 06:45 PM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: ]
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Repeat Spawner
Registered: 10/20/10
Posts: 1279
Loc: Seattle
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The key is to bang them at every opportunity . Your answer to every thought or question they might have is to screw them. If they walk too slow around the house you will catch them and screw them. Do this and you will never have problems with a woman. End of lesson.
_________________________
Once you go black you never go back
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#714785 - 11/01/11 06:49 PM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: ]
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Hippie
Registered: 01/31/02
Posts: 4533
Loc: B'ham
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I didn't bother reading through all the replies but I know this is a concern to many hardcore fishermen. My basic rules: 1. Be yourself. You probably were before so just keep doing that. 2. Be honest with her about what you want and what you need. Neither of you has to get all of what you want but you both have to get what you need. Maybe fishing a certain amount is one of your "needs". It is one of mine. 3. Get her involved but do it in a smart way. Don't take her fishing in crappy weather or when the fishing is likely to be tremendously slow. Make sure she realizes it is about MORE than the fishing. It is about getting outside, seeing some rivers, eagles, and maybe taking some nice photos. 4. Kind of related to #3 is buy her GOOD gear. Down, Gortex, gloves, hats, and those little hand warmers can go along way. 5. Learn to read the signs. Relationships are kind of like driving and you must adapt to road conditions. Good luck... to all of us. -AP
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#714792 - 11/01/11 06:56 PM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: Us and Them]
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Juvenile at Sea
Registered: 08/12/08
Posts: 172
Loc: Puyallup, WA
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The key is to bang them at every opportunity . Your answer to every thought or question they might have is to screw them. If they walk too slow around the house you will catch them and screw them. Do this and you will never have problems with a woman. End of lesson. I think there is a lot of wisdom here!!
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#715211 - 11/03/11 12:39 AM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: The Closer]
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Registered: 02/02/04
Posts: 2276
Loc: N of Seattle
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The key is to bang them at every opportunity . Your answer to every thought or question they might have is to screw them. If they walk too slow around the house you will catch them and screw them. Do this and you will never have problems with a woman. End of lesson. I think there is a lot of wisdom here!! Yea but it doesn't leave a lot of time for fishin
_________________________
When Ma Nature decides to make ya her bitch, aint nothin your gonna do about it
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#715468 - 11/03/11 09:54 PM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: Brad_tgl]
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Carcass
Registered: 01/01/03
Posts: 2214
Loc: Post Falls Idaho
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Closer, if you can't get out of the house for one day to fish and fishing is more important to you than the future wife, well, the handwriting is kind of on the wall isn't it? That is not to say it is right or wrong, but entering a marriage with the hope of changing her mind is mighty risky. Don't ask me how I know.
There is no answer to your question. You can't dictate to her nor can she dictate to you. Marriage is a partnership where the two of you need to work on a compromise, hopefully before saying I do. With that in mind, your fishing days and other joys of bachelor hood will change regardless.
Good luck my friend.
_________________________
"90% of Life is just showing up and doing the work". Tred Barta Sr.
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#717965 - 11/14/11 12:42 AM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: ClearCreek]
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Spawner
Registered: 03/25/08
Posts: 590
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Well dont give in ....women are all different and you are in relationships for different/same reasons. I went through this with my wife for a bit and eventually I wore her down. She realized she cant win. Don't get upset when explaining your reasoning and continue on your way. foolproof. Stick to your guns. Lets go fishin.
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#736540 - 01/28/12 07:46 PM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: snit]
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Dah Rivah Stinkah Pink Mastah
Registered: 08/23/06
Posts: 6869
Loc: zipper
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A friend from work just got dragged to IKEA for the third time sine Christmas, he says he hates it, I say "why do you go then?" Reminded me of this thread. 
Edited by fish4brains (01/28/12 07:47 PM)
Edit Reason: I was looking for balls in a vise but settled for the violin
_________________________
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Propping up an obsolete fishing industry at the expense of sound fisheries management is irresponsible. -Sg
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#736569 - 01/28/12 11:21 PM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: fish4brains]
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WINNER
Registered: 01/11/03
Posts: 10513
Loc: Olypen
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A friend from work just got dragged to IKEA for the third time sine Christmas, he says he hates it, I say "why do you go then?" Reminded me of this thread. Got the ring misplaced?
_________________________
Agendas kill truth.
If it's a crop, plant it.
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#736639 - 01/29/12 05:59 PM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: SeaDNA]
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Spawner
Registered: 10/26/02
Posts: 918
Loc: Idaho
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Been married for 30+ happy years and fish plenty. The key to all good relationships (from the guy's perspective) - SET LOW EXPECTATIONS at the beginning. If they don't tolerate you fishing at the beginning, there's no hope later. +1000
_________________________
Facts don't care about your feelings..
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#736645 - 01/29/12 07:10 PM
Re: Question for anyone in a relationship...
[Re: willametteriveroutlaw]
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Reverend Tarpones
Registered: 10/09/02
Posts: 8587
Loc: West Duvall
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If you are seriously looking for relationship advice on a fishing board, well . . .
Edited by Dave Vedder (01/29/12 07:10 PM)
_________________________
No huevos no pollo.
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