Last Fall a friend of mine was laid off. By the end of November he had his back to the wall and I loaned him a few thousand.

He more or less jokingly (I thought) gave me his new (purchased last summer) Sage XP 896 Rod,Billy Pate Salmon Reel flyrod outfit, an Odyssey 13.5 ft raft and a 1 year old Buck's Bags SouthFork pontoon boat as collateral.

Now he informs me that his financial situation is such that he doesn't know when/if he will be able to repay me and want's me to sell his gear to get my money back.

I was inclined to just hang on to his stuff until he was back on his feet, but then -

The boss (the real one, as in spouse) found out that the money I used came from funds set aside for a trip/class she is going to take at the end of February and is more than a little upset with me. When I mentioned keeping his gear she informed me that I didn't need 14 fly rods and certainly didn't need any more rafts/boats etc.

Now I know that another fly rod could get lost in the clutter, but its kind of hard to overlook a 13' gray raft on the breezeway.

So what do you think. Should I sell, or try to hold on to his gear for him.

If it was your gear what would you want done?

If you had loaned the money what would you do?

Thanks,

Wes

Wow.The situations that life deals you.I am trying to picture my wife in that situation!Not a pretty site!!!

I would have to say do what will keep your married life what it should.You can replace fishing gear as easy as you can lose it.

I would hope your friend would more than understand!

First of all I would say 'Neither a borrower or a lender be.' but that would sound like my Dad and not be too realistic. I have been in a similar position except did not have the collateral!!!

If your friend has given you the go ahead to sell the gear and you don't need it then I would sell it. (Maybe first get it in writing or something that it is now yours though or some ugly legal stuff could come down the road.) Your relationship with your wife should be more important than friends or gear. This friend has lived without their gear for quite some time now so does not have any pressing needs for it.

Sorry that you have to go through this. Not a fun position to be in but you and yours come first.

Just my .02 worth

"Bad things can happen to good people" an old saw that is oh so true, believe me I know!

You are lucky to have a friend who had the class to offer the items as collateral in the first place. The fact that he's already told you to go ahead and sell them to recouver you funds, is all the proof you need that your friendship is on solid footing.

The fact that you didn't tell your wife before lending the money is another matter, which you should be concerned with more than anything else, because she is truly the injured party in all of this. Afterall, you have, damaged the trust she placed in you. Not on purpose, I'm sure, but we all tend to take those closest to us for granted sometimes. The old song "You always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn't hurt at all" is so true.

Sell the stuff, replace the money, buy your wife flowers, take her out to a real nice dinner, and let her know that you won't ever do anything like that again without talking it over with her first.

Then get together with your frind and go fishing.

Papa,

Have you been watching Oprah?

Papa - aka Dr. Phil. (:
(I'm scared that I actually know who dr. phil is..)

Maybe you could sell the stuff and actually make enough to give your buddy back more than he borrowed (and do the dinner and flowers...). Unfortunately, you'll probably end up with less than you shelled out. Hopefully the friend is truly in need and not just taking your money to vegas!!

Good luck!

First off stop watching oprah and Dr phil.. tie some fish hooks or something.. Next thing you will be getting in touch with your sesnsitve side .. go with youre gut on this one..

[ 01-10-2002: Message edited by: fiishawk ]

Dr. Phil is PURE EVIL!!!! I believe he/she is a femi-Nazi planted into a man's body to tell all women that all their hardships in their life is because of their husband/boyfreind.

He is Evil I tell 'ya, PURE EVIL...

[ 01-10-2002: Message edited by: RPetzold ]

I agree with PappaFish, Sounds like he's been there before. There's alot of wisdom from the older generation. Hey RPetzold, what's wrong with being a LEZ? As long if your trapped in a male's body is it alright?

I confess, I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

Just remember the minute you start to be like Dr. Phil and Oprah your spouses will kick your butts out the door for being big PUSSYcats. You will be ruined.

No Jerry, I wouldn't waste 2 seconds watching that bleedin' heart stuff. I've spent 39 years married to the same gal, and I've just been there-done that!

So what I said still stands, don't think so? OK by me, your life.

Papa,

Thought your answer was right on, it got right to the real problem.

Papafish,

I couldn't possibly take her out to dinner and get her flowers, it might set a precedence or something and then everytime I did something wrong I would have to live up to this standard.<jk>

It isn't so much my wife is upset about my loaning him the money (she knew about it when I did it), it's that I took it out of her trip fund (without making it apparent this is where it was coming from) - coupled with fact that I've had about a 45% decrease in sales since last fall and that I probably won't be able to make it up out of our general budget unless business really starts hopping, and the way the economy is right now I don't see that happening.

Steve and I met yesterday and although it bothers me to let his gear go, have worked out an agreement for part of what he owes me and more or less agreed on asking prices for his gear. I've posted them over in the classifieds

Thanks for all the responses.

Wes

Sounds like you've got it covered, Wes. And FWIW, Papafsh has it right on the money from my perspective. It also sounds like you see it that way too.

And for you guys confusing sexual preference with gender identity, there actually WAS a story a while back about a lesbian trapped in a man's body. I MEAN it! A male (physically), that liked girls, but had a sex change because he/she knew he/she was meant to be a women. Go figure.

I can't give you any advice on this it's a little to serious for me and I don't know how your wifes personality is but I just had to send you my condolences sounds like a pretty harsh situation good luck