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#1027574 - 04/03/20 08:32 PM Economic stimulus payment.
Sol Duc Offline
April Fool

Registered: 06/18/01
Posts: 16138
Hello taxpayers,

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another economic stimulus payment.
It is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q&A format:

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.

Q: So the government is giving me back my own money?
A: Only a smidgen of it.

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with and your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* if you spend it on gasoline, your money goes to the Arabs.
* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India,Taiwan or China.
* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to the management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead keep the money in America by:
(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or
(2) Go to a ballgame, or
(3) Spend it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

CONCLUSION:
Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day. No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help
_________________________
He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.

- Albert Einstein.

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#1027583 - 04/03/20 09:54 PM Re: Economic stimulus payment. [Re: Sol Duc]
Streamer Offline
No Stars for You!

Registered: 11/08/06
Posts: 2271
Loc: T-Town
Pretty much.

My check will go straight into stocks... the money of mine the government never should have had its grimy hands on in the first place.
_________________________
Space Available! Say something idiotic today!

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#1027584 - 04/03/20 09:58 PM Re: Economic stimulus payment. [Re: Streamer]
AcidAngler
Unregistered


I'm just gonna pay taxes with it [Bleeeeep!] it.

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#1027585 - 04/03/20 10:01 PM Re: Economic stimulus payment. [Re: Streamer]
Illahee Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 05/22/05
Posts: 3781
Socialism, every time there's a economic problem the first tool out of the box is socialism.
What the fvck did that jackass say, there will be no socialism while I'm President?

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#1027586 - 04/03/20 10:11 PM Re: Economic stimulus payment. [Re: Illahee]
Streamer Offline
No Stars for You!

Registered: 11/08/06
Posts: 2271
Loc: T-Town
Originally Posted By: Illahee
Socialism, every time there's a economic problem the first tool out of the box is socialism.


Which is the problem.

Originally Posted By: Illahee
What the fvck did that jackass say, there will be no socialism while I'm President?


Because he’s a dumbfukkk.
_________________________
Space Available! Say something idiotic today!

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#1027588 - 04/03/20 10:35 PM Re: Economic stimulus payment. [Re: Streamer]
AcidAngler
Unregistered


Lol well I just lost 40 grand due to the "non essential" business shelter in place for my county. Can't see my girlfriend until May 3 at the earliest. At least they have not shut down fishing (yet). For some reason I'm not that bothered by it all. I can always sell fishing gear,I have about 50 grand worth in just rods and reels.

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#1027593 - 04/04/20 06:45 AM Re: Economic stimulus payment. [Re: Illahee]
erikj Offline
Spawner

Registered: 01/06/07
Posts: 660
Originally Posted By: Illahee
Socialism, every time there's a economic problem the first tool out of the box is socialism.
What the fvck did that jackass say, there will be no socialism while I'm President?


So 535 members of Congress are off the hook?
Just orange man bad. Got it.

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#1027595 - 04/04/20 07:27 AM Re: Economic stimulus payment. [Re: Sol Duc]
Todd Offline
Dick Nipples

Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 28170
Loc: Seattle, Washington USA
It's less about the individuals, and more about the fact that every time something goes wrong with our American style of Capitalism, it is Socialism to the rescue.

Fish on...

Todd
_________________________


Team Flying Super Ditch Pickle


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#1027599 - 04/04/20 08:01 AM Re: Economic stimulus payment. [Re: erikj]
Dan S. Offline
It all boils down to this - I'm right, everyone else is wrong, and anyone who disputes this is clearly a dumbfuck.

Registered: 03/07/99
Posts: 17149
Loc: SE Olympia, WA
Originally Posted By: erikj
Originally Posted By: Illahee
Socialism, every time there's a economic problem the first tool out of the box is socialism.
What the fvck did that jackass say, there will be no socialism while I'm President?


So 535 members of Congress are off the hook?
Just orange man bad. Got it.


You can vote them out, too.
_________________________
She was standin' alone over by the juke box, like she'd something to sell.
I said "baby, what's the goin' price?" She told me to go to hell.

Bon Scott - Shot Down in Flames

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#1027606 - 04/04/20 09:50 AM Re: Economic stimulus payment. [Re: Sol Duc]
Salmo g. Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 13526
Mrs. Salmo vetoed the tattooed prostitute, but said I can go to the ballgame (where? if I wear a face mask) and drink beer all day. Not a bad compromise. Oh, and we don't expect to get stimulus checks, something about still having an income.

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#1027611 - 04/04/20 10:21 AM Re: Economic stimulus payment. [Re: Salmo g.]
Todd Offline
Dick Nipples

Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 28170
Loc: Seattle, Washington USA
Originally Posted By: Salmo g.
Mrs. Salmo vetoed the tattooed prostitute, but said I can go to the ballgame (where? if I wear a face mask) and drink beer all day. Not a bad compromise. Oh, and we don't expect to get stimulus checks, something about still having an income.


Me, either, but it's ok...I like giving Socialism to gigantic corporations, who just got gigantic Socialism a handful of years ago, and used it to buy more yachts for their execs.

#maga

Fish on...

Todd
_________________________


Team Flying Super Ditch Pickle


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#1027615 - 04/04/20 10:53 AM Re: Economic stimulus payment. [Re: Dan S.]
erikj Offline
Spawner

Registered: 01/06/07
Posts: 660
Originally Posted By: Dan S.
Originally Posted By: erikj
Originally Posted By: Illahee
Socialism, every time there's a economic problem the first tool out of the box is socialism.
What the fvck did that jackass say, there will be no socialism while I'm President?


So 535 members of Congress are off the hook?
Just orange man bad. Got it.


You can vote them out, too.


Now we're talking evil

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#1027616 - 04/04/20 11:03 AM Re: Economic stimulus payment. [Re: Sol Duc]
Driftin' Offline
Three Time Spawner

Registered: 04/29/06
Posts: 1740
Loc: Offshore
Buy a US made AR-15....


*grin*

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#1027663 - 04/05/20 11:24 AM Re: Economic stimulus payment. [Re: Sol Duc]
Salmo g. Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 13526
Todd, don't underestimate the importance of socialism for corporate executives. After all, who else is going to keep those yacht building shipyards in business?

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