To the hairy pitted, sundress wearin’, leather skinned woman who confronted me in front of the post office today, seething with anger and choking back tears, telling me "how much pain" my yellow lab was in, and that he "could die in minutes in this heat".

I'm glad you were able to overlook the fact he was still dripping from playing in my sprinkler, had a 3 gallon bucket of water to drink, and was in the open, exposed bed of my truck. I was also unaware it was, "140* in the back of that truck"...

After I pointed out the still wet hair and drinking water bucket, and you responded, half teary eyed, "can't you see how much pain he is in?" I hope you did not take it too personally that I then told you to, "go tell someone else how to run their life".

I would have told you how I really felt, but the fact that 8-10 people had gathered to witness your hysteria, and the 3 guys in business attire who were filming the whole event on their phones, resulted in me staying unusually reserved.

As I type this, my lab, Moose, is playfully dragging the sprinkler around my yard yet again, and is in fact, very much alive. A miracle, considering the near fatal experience he endured today.

You go smudge yourself down with some sage, maybe do a little chant or two, and steam up some tofu. I'm gonna go throw a few bumpers in the river to keep Moose in top form, so he's ready to retrieve all those tasty little birds I'll be gunning down in cold blood this fall.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to educate me about proper pet care

I heard you can get an optional granola dispenser in the new Prius.

You'll have better luck finding her on that oregon fish site.

you bastard!

She was on foot! Literally patrolling up and down the block for more heartless bastards like myself who's sole existence is inhumane animal treatment. Should have been wearing a Vick Eagles jersey...

I half expected her to take my dog while I ran in to mail a package... Was a little concerned, as hippies are known to be like crackheads; crazy fast and maneuverable as African plains game.

If Moose is anything like my lab, you should have let him out of the back of your rig and let him lick the stupid b!tch to death.

Ya cant fix stupid.

Should have gone into the same hysteric fit and tried to take her to the hospital for heat stroke. She was obiviously showing signs of dehydration and dementia.

Nice BWP, my neighbors are the opposite. They think if I'm gone, they may be stuck watching "Moose, a.k.a Marley". The 3 gal. wasn't for adequate hydration purposes...it's so there is enough weight he can't get nervous when I'm out of sight and pick the thing up and dump it all over.

People who care about pets are great. There are a lot of clueless people out there who think nothing of locking Fido in the back seat, then hitting the mall for a few hours.

People who are likely living in a tree somewhere, while roaming the streets by day and giving a guy a hard time, while I'm standing 3' from my "dying" dog, writing the address on a letter in a parking spot...well, power to them too I guess...just so long as it's not directed at me again!

Made for yet another eventful trip into town. I love visiting 'civilization'. Other highlights included 1, uno, a single pair, out of the package, mens tighty whities in the clearance basket at the check out of Bi-Mart. And Coolio's "Gangsters Paradise" playing over the in-store speakers...

Hey Twitch, go easy on the hippies! We love dogs. Well real dogs that is, not so much the foo foo and dust mop dogs. If those are really dogs.

Sg

I'd have kicked her in the box and gotten her in a rear naked choke hold. That'd learn her.

Hippies are gay!

That's a funny story!

At the Olympia (read-North Eugene) Farmers Market they have a pet patrol on hot days. If you are there for more than an hour you will hear at least 2 offender's get their license plates read over the loud speaker in a female, rude, accusatory tone saying something this: "The owner of a silver Topaz, license plate A26329B, your pet needs your attention badly!".

I was talking to the lady selling jerky/pepperoni and she said it happens every day, multiple times. I guess the rule is since it is an outdoor market you should bring Fido with you. They are quite militant about it.

That is the first place I have ever been called a breeder.

Now that was funny right there

A couple I knew in B'ham hit garage sales to buy stuff to resell. They bought a stuffed dog made from curly merino wool so it looked like a real dog thru a dirty car window. They came back to their car on a hot day and a weight-challenged heifer was in tears because their dog was not moving. They told her they were glad it was dead because they hated the little sh!t, got in the car and left. As they drove off, she was in hysterics, screaming and crying about how she had their license number and she was calling the cops. When animal control came by their house, they showed the dude the stuffed toy and he said how disgusted he gets and how much time is wasted because of the bogus reports from the do-gooders.
You are a pillar of self control. I think letting the Moose loose would have been the right thing to do. Lick her into submission.

First, the proper term for her is "earthbiscuit", and second, as long as you use steel shot on the birds, it is all good.

Post Script:

Stay away from Stam, I learned on this site he is just a trouble maker.

No, they're just smelly! YAY!

How can this happen on Bainbridge Island of all places?

http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2009/aug/21/dog-left-in-car-on-bainbridge-island-found-dead/

Blog at the bottom is pretty brutal, one suggests "cooking" the owner at 120 in the oven

Hmmmm.......baked long pork. I hear it goes well with a nice chianti and fava bean.

Ideally, I'd think you'd want to brine 'em up for about 24 hours and smoke at approx 220 for 3-4 hours - depending on chunk size. I'd also think hickory would be OK.

Puts new meaning to the term: "It will smoke up fine!"

PS. Are zombies OK to eat once they are dead - (like head chopped off kinda dead)? Or, are zombies kinda like humpies in that once they are dead, they are pretty much only good for fertilizer for the garden?

Just askin' for when the impending zombie invasion happens. Seems a shame to waste a perfectly good zombie.....I hear they made good pets, but one can only have so many zombie pets.....

You pose a lot of questions grasshopper........none of which I have intimate knowledge of to share with you as I'm Zombie illiterate.......best of luck in your quest