Kristi Noem has rushed to Portland to save it from the ravages of war she heard about from Trump. Why the Oregon Republican Party even posted a photo of the city on fire on its X account. Only thing, that photo was taken in Ecuador(sp) in 2017. The city Noem rushed to inspect had maybe a dozen protestors making noise at the ICE center. One protestor dressed in a chicken costume invited her down from the roof top for a Subway sandwish. The National Guard troops, however, were busy protecting Voodoo Donuts, standing outside on the sidewalk, donut boxes in hand. "Oh no! They're eating the eclairs! They're eating the donuts!" Clearly these are dangerous times in Portland.

In other news, members of the Texas National Guard have arrived in Chicago to protect it from the massive crime. These members of the Texas NG look like they belong to Meal Team Six; they sure won't be chasing down any brown people, on foot anyway. Hah! Hegseth might have a point about too many fat troops.

Oh, and Chicago just completed a summer with the fewest murders since 1965. I don't think Chicago's crime rate is anything to brag about, but obviously Trump is trying to promote violence, not prevent it.