Two entries:

Worst ever. There's this ARCO station not far from Sprotco, in Fife. I don't remember why, but I stopped there once to answer the call. They had two honey buckets out back. One had an "out of service" sign on it, so I opened the door to the other. The brown matter was piled up even with the toilet seat. I about gagged. I can't immagine what was up with the last person to troll that hole. It made me wonder how bad the "out of service" one was. It was enough to blow a buzzard off a gut wagon.

Worst outhous experience. This actually happened only a couple of weeks ago. I was driving down to the Kalama in the early (dark) a.m. from Tacoma. Everything was fine until I got just about to Kelso and things down south stared to get a little loose. Things began to rumble. By the time I got to Longview, there were cramps coming in waves. I knew the first log scaling yard was a ways from the Longview exit, so I decided to try to make it to the outhouse at the beginner's hole on the K. River Road.

By the time I got to the River Road, I was standing up on the floorboard, twisting with the abdominal cramps. I made it to the beginner's hole and rolled up next to the station. It was pitch black dark. I shut off the car and hotfooted it toward the outhouse. I forgot about those big rocks they have planted around that thing and I slammed my left foot and my right knee into the same big rock. I was wearing sandals and I felt like I tore off my middle toe. I couldn't even straighten out my right leg. It's a miracle that I maintained my load under tension. I made it to the seat, but between my left foot screaming, my right knee feeling like it was being pulled apart, and the fire down below, that was the most nightmarish 20 minutes I ever spent in an outhouse.

I left and got to where I was fishing and put on my waders in the dark. At the end of the day, as I was taking off my waders, my left foot felt damp and I thought I might have developed a hole in my waders. When I got them off, I saw that my left sock was completely soaked in blood. Turns out, I tore this big patch of skin off the whole tip of my left middle toe. I still have a scab on my right knee.

As everybody says, you have to put your time in on the river to learn its secrets. I think I've figured out where the boulders are at the beginner's hole!