Lucky for Napoleon's kin that the military will enlist losers in times like this. Of course being fat little REMFs, they still provide some service I'm sure.

I like that part. I keep telling him to stay out of discussions he knows nothing about. I can imagine the conversation:

"Private, get you gear on."
"No, Sarge, it's too heavy so I'll go on patrol without it today. In fact, this pro-mask is too bulky, and I'd rather wear these Nikes 'cause I can run faster with 'em."
"Well, okay, if that's what you want."