Real christians are great, and as rare as a 7x7 elk that follows you back to camp so you can shoot it next to the truck. Maybe not that rare, but rare enough. Unfortunately the other side of that bell curve is populated by the outrageously loud, and belligerently pompous, attention whores. They preach from Revelations and Old Testament, hurl the word "sin" like it was a rock to peg people between the eyes with, and they develop this sneer that makes me want to back over them with a lowrider and turn on the hydraulics.

The real ones, those people you don't see 'cause they are too busy doing whats right, working the soup kitchens, needle exchanges and free medical clinics, volunteering to teach adults to read, or working as a nurses aid in a nursing home and for wages that are insultingly poor, doing the kind of work in a single night that should alone guarantee them a place in heaven. I run into these people on rare occasions, and they might talk about Jesus in a quiet moment, but out of respect for what they are actually doing for the people around them, they earn my attention.

But the louds ones with the startched whites, and over sized silver crucifix, manicured hands, and the bible thats highlighted for them so they know what parts to remember? Those hypocrites go right under the '67 Impala and we turn on the hydraulics.