We cut the party short around 1 AM (3 AM for Blake and Vanessa) as we were going fishing the next day. Due to having five fishermen in our party, we could not go out with Baja Anglers or another outfit I wanted to use, so we had to play a bit of dockside roulette. We booked the Joanna, a sturdy, comfortable 33 foot boat with a solid crew. The only problem was, when we got to the dock and paid the Dock Access Shakedown Fee, the Joanna was nowhere to be found. Due to some Mexican miscommunication and a major fishing tournament going on at the time, it seems our boat was already promised to another group. To make a long and frustrating story very short, we ended up on a rotten little DeathTub called the Talan. If you ever see this boat, SPRINT as fast as you can in the opposite direction. To make matters much, much worse, this cramped, stinky, slimy little barge had a "crew" consisting of the Captain, El Loco, and his 7-foot tall deckhand, El Lerch. El Lerch was not only constantly in the way, but would later prove to be completely inept at gaffing fish and casting a bait at a marlin. This kid had freaky, ice-blue eyes which looked even stranger given his dark skin and Sasquatch height. The chain of BS-laden events which led to us occupying this waste of fiberglass put the term "bait and switch" into a whole new light. Yet another "only in Mexico" adventure was about to commence. The photos do not show it well, but the wind was howling and the seas were very rough that day, especially when tailing waves would slap the boat silly.....this narrow-beamed unseaworthy dinghy got tossed about like a piece of packing foam in a toilet bowl.

Despite the ridiculous craft, some cool stuff happened that day. After a couple fishless hours, I had the honor of being with my little bro when he battled his first dorado on a flyrod. Blake has taken many dorado before on gear rods, but he ached to tangle with one on his 12 wt..............





El Lerch's giant head leaks into the shot. His Grande Melon isn't nearly as close in the foreground as you might think, he was actually right next to Blake............



I know some of you are fly-curious.....this is what a dorado can do to a 12 wt flyrod





Given El Lerch's horrible gaffting skills, it is a minor miracle this fish was even landed. I was tempted to grab the gaff and do it myself, but maturity stopped me from challenging a 7 foot tall wild-eyed deckhand madly swinging a gaff.



The rest of us were treated to a shower of dorado blood from Blake's victory hoist and the comically cramped deck of the Talan.



We all started drooling over the thought of the dorado fillets we would chow down on that night, thanks to Blake and his awesome fish-fighting skills....nice job brother!



Then the scary part.....the rough seas that day, coupled with the narrow beam, top-heavy build of the Talan PLUS 575 pounds of combined El Loco and El Lerch seated in the tower resulted in several very deep lists to the right and left.....the kind that, when they occur, seriously make you doubt if they will correct themselves. After Blake landed his fish and beers were cracked, I was sitting alone at the transom when the boat suddenly slammed to the right and started going over....and over...and over......I had to reach out and grab an edge with my wounded right limb to keep from going into the drink while my wife rushed forward to help me ...she thought I was going for an unplanned swim. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the boat righted itself but the damage was done. My shoulder was shredded carne again and I thought I had dislocated it. Luckily it was "just" another muscle tear, which I kept at bay with plenty of Pacifico and an ice pack. This was a good thing, as I would soon need that arm...........

30 minutes later, El Loco regained his sanity long enough to maneuver us into position to cast a bait to a blue marlin of about 150 pounds on the surface. We watched with growing frustration as El Lerch attempted to hook it with his awful casting skills. He made 4-foot cast after 4-foot cast with a live caballito.....to a marlin that was mocking us from 80 feet away. I could have done better with a Snoopy rod. Finally, I could take it no longer. I yelled up to Capitan El Loco that I was going to cast a fly at the marlin. Before he could react, Blake thrust a flyrod in my paws and told me to go for it. I started making the best presentations I could. I figured the worst-case scenario is that we would not hook this beauty, because we were most definitely not going to hook it with El Lerch flailing about with his pathetic 48 inch casts.

It is a surreal experience to be in a bucking boat casting a fly at a free swimming marlin. I was able to place the baitfish pattern close enough for the marlin to see and eat the fly if he so chose. Given this fish was not teased in but stalked as a free-swimmer, the odds were very long. Finally, after several attempts in the stiff wind, he chose to ignore me and sunk slowly from view. Oh well......you gotta take your shots.

Working to place a feather snack in front of the marlin as Blake yells out his position...............hoping my right arm doesn't suddenly fly off my body.



The marlin was now about 90 feet straight behind the boat as we crossed his path......strip strip strip....c'mon EAT IT!



Vanessa was so eager to fight a fish, she put on a belt and got ready for battle........Mark nearly received a sneak attack...........



Finally the water got so rough we bagged it and had El Loco drop us off in a water taxi so we could hit the pool bar at our hotel, the Pueblo Bonito Rose.



I took 18 fresh solid pounds of dorado fillets to our hotel restaurant and they agreed to grill, blacken, saute and fry up the batch with a variety of dipping sauces and salad. We had pre-paid for an All-Inclusive package at the Pueblo Bonito Rose, so this was a great deal all the way around. We said our goodbyes and all agreed to meet up again at 7 PM for dinner. My wife and I arrived first, and were treated to the most pathetic attempt at a swindle I have ever heard. This scam had obviously been used successfully before, because it was extremely well-rehearsed. Here is how it went:

restaurant manager - "Senor Meengo, we are sorry, but we cannot serve you the dorado you brought to us. The fish was in very poor condition".
Me - "Poor condition? That fish was caught and filleted only a few hours ago!"
Restaurant manager - "This may be so, but it was full of worms and is too dangerous to eat"
Me - "Worms? Dorado worms? Mad Dorado Disease Huh? (now I'm laughing, thinking he must be joking)
Restaurant Manager - "Jes, these worms are very dangerous, they will go to your brain and can KEEL you!"
Me - "You're serious aren't you? I've been catching and eating dorado for decades and I've NEVER heard of Brain-Eating Dorado Worms!"(virtually all fish have various forms of parasites that are quicky killed by cooking and pose no danger, salmon have them too)

With that, we went next door to the Pueblo Bonito Blanco for their Mexican Fiesta Night and wild buffet complete with the infamous "pushing of the dancing girls into the swimming pool" Grand Finale. After laughing for a while at the pathetic lies the restaurant manager told me, we realized THEY STOLE OUR FISH. We realized his scare tactics had worked before and most people, thinking the fish was tainted, would just leave it to be disposed of. Not us. Mark went back to get it, and the manager went ballistic. After trying to argue with Mark (not a good idea) for 10 minutes, he finally relented and handed over a bag with about 75% of the fillets I had given him. Interesting, this "dangerous" fish was all nicely chunked in meal-size portions and was frosty from being in THEIR FREEZER. A rather interesting way to handle "tainted fish" eh? Before I took the fish to the restaurant, I had given a nice chunk to a Mexican friend who had grilled some and made ceviche from the rest and he said it was awesome. We gave the reclaimed fish to other local friends who also said it was fresh and delicious. Nobody died from brain worms.

The next day, we gathered at sunrise to shake of the cobwebs and adjust attitudes for another day out in the Big Blue...



On this day we actually WERE on the Joanna and were looking forward to a much better day of fishing. The water was still rough but this was a real crew on a real boat. Early in the morning I had another first after years of trying.....a wahoo hookup on a fly. We had heard the wahoo bite had been decent in the early morning so I rigged a 12 inch pink billfish fly with a wire-harnessed tandem Trey Combs 6/0 hook rig. I figured the wire would give me at least some protection from their scissor jaws full of dagger teeth. My Hawaiian friends tell me they usually attack from behind and chop the tail off their prey then circle back and devour the pieces. That style of attack would give me the best chance of landing one on a fly. However, many other wahoo attack from the side or angled from the front and chop the bait in half. Unfortunately, my wahoo must have made the side or front angled assault, since after one screaming run it sliced through my 100 pound shock leader like melted butter. Fish off.

Another hour with no action then passed...then.... that unmistakable ratchet scream of "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" as a blue marlin went skyward 200 feet behind the boat. Vanessa did a 100 MPH, 15 foot horizontal leap straight into the fighting chair as Gustavo handed her the rod with guidance and instruction on how to pump and reel the leviathan. Vanessa has been fishing for less than two years and this was her first billfish, a very important moment in any angler's life. After the first four leaps, her fish settled in for a straightaway horizontal battle punctuated with occasional deep dives just to keep it interesting.









Unfortunately, there was something that occurred at boatside that was frustrating ....... Blake and I were screaming at the deckhand to release the marlin. He argued with us, saying "blue marlin are no good to release, they jump too much". Maybe he had lousy wiring skills or was afraid of the bill from a previous stab wound, or maybe they wanted to market the meat (which brings a very good price), but this was a lure-hooked fish that would have been easy to release. We shouted at him repeatedly to let the fish go, but when Vanessa brought her trophy boatside he sunk the gaff. I guess he had his reasons, but as the client, it would have been nice to have our preference followed. Oh well. Vanessa did a great job and she caught a gorgeous fish.



Welcome to Club Billfish Girl! La Minga congratulates her fellow Billfish Battling chica................................