You might be a mall ninja if:

You considered duct-taping a kitchen knife to your long arms to serve as a bayonet.

Your AR has more rails than the local train yard.

You put a heat shield on your shotgun because you may need it during urban assaults.

You put an M4 stock on your H&R single shot.

You put a pistol grip on your shotgun because you are so good at hip-shooting. If one pistol grip is good, two must be better, ehhh?

You don't actually have an AR, so you decided to make your 10/22 look like one as much as possible.

You have a breaching device on the end of your home defense shotgun, just in case you need to breach your own doors.

You think that during TSHTF, you will carry a bolt action rifle, a shotgun, a SOCOM M1A, a Ruger Mark II, and a 1911 just to cover all the base.

You have a .50 cal muzzle brake on your shotgun.

Your game remote is attached to an AR rail in case you get ambushed on Rainbow Six while you are handling your AR.

You have desert camo or sand colored weapons, even though you live in Illinois.

You consider playing Call of Duty to be combat experience.


Did I miss any?