I just read through this entire thread. I'll never get those minutes back!
It seems that everyone has missed the obvious. If I want to keep my ass warm and dry I don't look at a jacket - I look at pants! Just like if I want to keep my head warm and dry I don't look at pants, but jackets and hats. I wonder if the OP looks for gloves to keep his feet warm?

I'm sure we never met, but I'm sure I'll recognize him by the way he wears stuff.