The ball is and has been completely in his court on this. He will never do anything because he's too self absorbed, selfish and stubborn. I gave up hope of him reconciling years ago. I wouldn't refuse but I have come to realize that he never will and is incapable of it. There is literally nothing for me to do to make things right with him. I get that you miss your Dad who died but I have absolutely no feelings whatsoever towards mine. It is he who has rejected me and continues to reject me. I've numbed my feelings over this. It is what it is, oh well life goes on.

Sometimes, when an old person is hanging on to life well beyond the point where life can be meaningfully lived, they become subject to a “mercy killing”. In American Indian culture, people who got to this point were left for the wolves. In Old Norse culture, people who got to this point were put on an ice floe and pushed into the sea. In Anglo culture, people who get to this point are often smothered in their sleep by pillows.

When he gets old and senile, I hope he gets in a care facility that employs anti-American immigrants who after beating and abusing him, smother him with the pillow and as the pillow descends, "Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie" will be droning away on the nursing home loudspeaker. The day of the pillow can't come soon enough.