I love the stuff you guys find. Here's one I found today:

A guy goes into a bar with his pet monkey and orders a drink. While he's enjoying it, his monkey is running wild around the place. It jumps up on a pool table, picks up a cue ball, and puts it in his mouth and swallow it.

The bartender was already a little miffed about a monkey being in his joint. He says, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

"No, what'd he do this time?" comes the reply.

"He just picked up one of our cue balls and swallowed the damn thing whole!"

"Oh man, I'm sorry. He's been eating hard things lately, but never something this big. But I'm sure it will pass thru as the other things have, and I'll bring it back the next time I come in."

A couple weeks later the guy comes back in with his monkey and gives the cue ball back to the bartender. After ordering a drink the monkey starts running around the place again. It finds a dish of peanuts and picks one up, puts it up his butt, then takes it out and eats it.

The bartender is discusted and says, "Did you see that! Your monkey just stuck a peanut up his ass and took it back out and ate it!"

"Oh, don't be too suprised at that" says the patron, "ever since passin that damn cue ball he's been measuring everything before he eats it".