From my elementary teaching days-

Fifth grade sex ed questions:
What happens if the egg dies in the tomb?
Who has it harder, the man or the woman?

Test question:
Name one important thing the men of Jamestown Colony did in 1609?
Student answer: They made their own wives.

Student who had spent the entire noon recess building the classroom hamster a habitrail home:
Come and look, Hammy's got a new condom!!!

Student comment during Health discussion:
One morning my aunt woke up DEAD!