These are great.

One day my cousin and I were floating a small river in our pontoons. At one point there is a log all the way across the river. The right end is over deeper water while the rest of it bottomed out in knee deep water with maybe 6" sticking out. It is an alder so there aren't any real branches on it. Water is moving over an average gravel bottom about the speed of a fast walk. I just pull to the left and go over it with a little back and forth "scoochin''. Cuz comes around the corner and decides that I went under the thing.

I'm like "no you dumbsh!t go left, go left!" He realizes about 10 feet too late that he won't have the clearance and starts heading left. He didn't get the toon straightened out before he hit the log, and he nailed it sideways and stopped. Here is the rookie part:

His boat starts bucking in the current a little, but is slowly inching over the log anyways, it isn't sinking or anything it is just off balance and bouncing. All he needed to do was get his feet on the log and push off, but he is too freaked out. He does a half roll and bails! I'm like WTF, he hits the water and pulls his rip cord on his Stearns inflatable, gets his feet around in front of him like he learned at rafting school, and braces for the ride, it is fully inflated about the time his ass hits the bottom, see the problem was this whole thing took place in 18" water!

He stood up with the vest all blown up around his head, and his boat worked free after he bailed. He was standing there trying to get his vest off from his neck when his boat hit him in the back of the legs. That freaked him out and he started running downstream. I was like WTF is he doing now! He told me later that he thought the log worked free and was going to run his ass over.

Man that was funny.