I had just flown back to North Carolina from Seattle after having gotten married on my spring break. I'm with my new wife in the middle of BFE, prolly half way between Raliegh and the coast, heading to a house on the water for our honeymoon...its about 3 in the morning...prolly doing somewhere between 80 and 90. I get pulled over by a good old boy:

Redneck NC cop: What's the hurry?
Wife (sounding bubbly): Oh we just got married (she shows him the ring) and we just got back in town and we are so excited to start our honeymoon that we decided to head to the coast tonight rather than wait until tomorrow.
Redneck NC cop: I see you have Washington plates, what are you doing in Carolina?
SciGuy: We moved here recently for school...this is my Spring Break.
Redneck NC cop: Is that so? Well, where exactly do you go to school?
SciGuy: UNC
Redneck NC cop: OK! Good! I'm going to let you off with a warning. Had you said "DUKE" I would have written you a ticket. Ha! You kids take care now, ya here?
SciGuy: Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir. Have a good day, Sir.

The moral of the story is:



...and...