To an extent, days like that are part of the game. However, I think you are making some mistakes, based on your description. First, I wouldn't go under 12 pound leader when using braid, unless you're using a noodly rod like a Loomis 1141. If you do use lighter leader, you need to down-size your hooks. The bigger the hook, the more powerful hookset you need. I like 12 lb UG leader and #1 or 1/0 hooks for standard size spoons. Second, it should be unusual that you're not sure if you have a rock or a fish. A large percentage of steelhead strikes on spoons are either a hard tap or a freight train. There are those that are soft, but you should be setting the hook with conviction whenever you think a fish is on the line; unless it hits like a freight train - you don't want to set the hook while a fish is peeling out 50 yards of line! If you're having a hard time differentiating strikes from rocks, you need to do something to improve your sensitivity (change your rod or the way you hold the rod). If my spoon just stops, I don't strike; I wait a second. I'll usually feel a fish if there's one there, then set the hook. Third, you are using too short of a rod for spoons IMHO. It will affect your ability to achieve a good hookset, not to mention your ability to mend the line and keep the spoon down. Last, I assume you're using 1/0 siwash hooks. Keep them razor sharp! Check them after every snag or fish. I prefer Gamakatsu's and wouldn't go bigger than 1/0 unless you're ok with putting some eyes out. I often go smaller.

All that said, it's never 100%. Parts of a steelhead's mouth are hard and getting the hook in the right spot is partly up to the fish. I think you'll have better luck next time!