Chasbo,

It sounds like your children are grown. If so, that simplifies things a lot. It also looks like your house is community property. If you can negotiate with your ex without it becoming nasty, you both will be thousands of dollars ahead. As Snake mentioned, lawyers love to have all action pass through them, even phone conversations. It's all billable. Talk to your ex - if possible - and if you can reach the reasonable conclusion that if you both hire good attorneys, you'll end up splitting the house and everything else 50-50, unless you agree otherwise. You can reach that agreement and save thousands in attorney fees, or not agree and reach that same settlement, with each of you spending $10K or more.

My ex and I used the same attorney and spent $1700 each for him to draw up the paperwork. Some people do it even cheaper with a form off the internet and a divorce paralegal.

Sg