I've been married for 21 1/2 years and mutually agreed to live in seperate rooms and go seek others because we were not happy. This came to a head about 1 1/2 ago but we've been back together for 6 months.

If she doesn't like to fish don't expect her to go. My wife hates fishing because her dad made her go. I didn't fish when we dated until her dad got me into it. She likes to get shellfish, clams, razors, shrimp, crab.

Kids are trying on the relationship. Our problem is that I wasn't on the same page with my wife on discipline for the kids. I fathered a boy when I was 18 that was put up for adoption. He looked me up a couple of years ago and that has been positive for our relationship. The grandaughters are a blessing and we are both involved when we can. I was straight up about it before marriage and we used it as a lesson learned for my other two. My two teenagers are doing better but they've put us through their share. 19 YO moved out but the 20 YO is still at home. As the birds fly the nest we've had more time to ourselves.

Does your wife have friends? It helps if your wife has gal pals and doesn't rely on you for everything. We've become more social and it helps.

Don't spend too much time on this board. Yeah I'm like you as I do alot around the house, including kitchen chores, but she does dinner, bills, computers, fixes things, and cleans.

I think you need to start by having the open discussion of where you are and what you want. Things in the bedroom will probably be the last thing in her priorities if she's like my wife. Work on the other stuff first. Maybe Stam can hook you up at the Enumclaw sex farm in the meantime. I'm still hoping for female Viagra. Like Parker said be romantic even if you have to force yourself. That's real difficult for me and I need to keep that up. My wife has roller-coastered on the weight and that has something to do with her self esteem. My wife has been on the treadmill every day for the past 3 weeks. Now she's going to Zumba with her friends.

It's hard. Some people do better apart and some people are better together. It's hard to keep up the househole even with two incomes. I don't want to say how much we make but she has more earnings potential. We took a short trip to the ocean a few months ago, saw her best friend, and I didn't even fish even though I did check out the river. Going back to fish next week and again in late June by myself. She is going camping with her gal friends in Chelan in August.