Guide Qualifications

must be able to row down the river %80 of the time without getting in a pissing match.

Only one pissing match allowed per trip

Must not low hole some poor old guy

May only use the "N" word once per trip

Must never have never received an ass whuppin for running into a bankie

Must have DRAMAmine onboard. We don't need no drama

Must be able to see your shoes by looking down over your puss gut

May not ride up the river in a sled after bitching about them on the same river.