Hahah I was slightly exaggerating. May this should be in the recipe vault but...

I take a cast iron creuset(Nick you will love cooking in yours,mine is a Martha Stewart one and it rocks)

So I browned like 5 italian sausages in the skillet with a little light olive oil,in batches,I have to keep the heat a little lower on my stove,and remove the sausage to a plate.
Then I brown some pancetta,not sure how much,enough,don't overcook,just brown,remove that,add another tbsp of olive oil and toss in a diced onion.
Get that going a bit,toss in 2 or 3(3) cloves of garlic,and just get that going a bit,then I deglaze all that goodness with a cup of good chianti red wine,less depending how much sauce.
Once all those crispy bits are up off the pot I start adding my sauce,I used 2 of those jars of the costco marinara,and added 2 cans of tomato sauce ,contadina,whatever,just sauce,and a little of that Cento italian tomato paste in a tube. I eyeball everything. Just,not too much.
I toss in a bay leaf,some basil(dried)and a shake of red pepper flakes,a little italian seasoning,add all the browned pancetta and sausage,and some cracked pepper. I usually shake a teaspoon or so of sugar to knock the acidity down a notch.
I get that all boiling and drop the heat and let it blip blip blip for a couple hours,stirring so it doesn't burn or stick.
Thats it. I froze a buttload of it. I have a bunch of good pecorino romano to grate over it. Nom Nom.