Elvis can't even comprehend levels of measurement. Technically there can be only one best. Ergo, I married my one and only best friend. All others I'm acquainted with are merely friends.

Having friends is probably a foreign concept to Elvis as well. Maybe he can talk to his counselor about that.

By the way, Aunty, are you protesting anything here? Seems to me you're simply pointing out a severe weakness on someone's part.