I love the anti-engineer sentiment. Bring it! I've heard it all. I'll even start it off.

Why do some guys become engineers? Because they don't have the people-skills to be morticians.
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Two engineering students are walking through the campus. One is pushing a bike. The other asks, "How'd you get that bike?"

The one pushing the bike responds, "I was walking here yesterday when a woman riding this bike rides up, throws off all her clothes, and tells me to take anything I want. I took the bike."

The other student nods in approval and says, "Good choice. Her clothes probably wouldn't fit you."
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There were three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer.

Suddenly, the car stops running and they pull off to the side of the road wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault may have occurred.

The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.

The Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, came up with a suggestion. "Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, and open all the windows and see if it works?"
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When at first you don't succeed, blame your parents and accept defeat...