As one who has utilized a marriage counselor in the past, a good one can help quite a bit. My wife and I have on a couple occasions met with a counselor to work through some issues and these meetings were largely successful. However, the key to counseling working is that BOTH parties have to be willing to really try and save the relationship. This includes both parties taking a really, really hard look at themselves and being willing to constantly work to improve or modify their behaviors as well as how they respond to their partner. BUT, counseling is no silver bullet. Don't expect a counselor to give you the secrets to marriage because they don't have it. 35 years is a lot of time and memories to just cast away and it is worth saving but both parties have to be willing to save it. The benefit to counseling is that a good counselor can get both of you to communicate with each other without the discussion ending up in another argument that just creates further bad feelings and resentment.

The counselor we have visited with is located in Lakewood, WA. I don't know your location so this may not be close enough to you. His name is Phil Butterfield and the number is (253) 651-7785. Good luck to you and your wife.