Salmo G. more respect goes your way than i originally thought. From what i have read and talked to kids and adults that are dead on at raising kids. What you explained there is dead on what has to happen with everything. a consequence....but not a "rising rate/fluctuating" a consequence that is completely controlled by them. You have no say so. its cut and dry and no talking needs to happen. There can be no arguements or "buts" about it. The only other thing that i have read is that there also needs to be be encouragement and a reward on the opposite side to show that you do care and that you are proud of them for doing well.

i actually got that in a book i read.......The Horse Whisperer...the actual one in real life wrote a book on raising kids. what would he know right? hahah he applied his techniques from dealing with horses ( completely non violent or verbally violent) in breaking them ( he hates that term, he calls it partnering up to acheive a common goal) to raising kids. A reward and consequence system that has nothing to do with anything BUT the horse.

he raised ( as of the books publishing in 1999) 65 kids. adopted some and some were just mothers or fathers that were into drugs or that they coudnt deal with .

( they said control, he hates that word to, no one should control another individual EVER..its wrong...i agree its physcologically F****ed up to try and control another individual, otherwise known as manipulating someon to do what you want..no matter what the intended goal is)


i rented the video too from the library and watched interviews of close to 15 kids that are now grown up and living their own lives. Some of these kids were deeply disturbed from abusive, alcoholic, drug use, prostituiting parents, one kid was stealing at the age of 13 and was in and out of Juvy...every single one of the 65 kids went on to live fulfilling, competent, successful, completely law abiding lives...every one of them is financially stable and completely happy.....65 and 0 is a pretty damn good record when it comes to raising kids. He was currently raising 4 or so kids at his ranch during taping.

But much of what he talks about is what YOU mister Salmo G. just explained. Not controlling.....just some rules to acheive a common goal. You never TOLD them what to do, or tried to force them.....you gave them options...and it worked great! good to see that there are some very good people out there that know how to deal with kids. its scary how many parents just let everything go like Sol explained.

its funny though...you watch this man work with the kids and talk about them...he loves everyone of them....he rewards them for good behavior and work...never scolds...he gets genuinely dissapointed when they would disrespect him in the beginning. He gave them complete free rain of the ranch and all of its amneties unless they proved otherwise. He built them up from nothing with labor as a consequence and a large reward for a rewards. it was....amazing to watch...


and any successful *happy * parent i see employs a form of this system most of them unknowingly.

the kids would disrespect him..and he would say " i will earn your respect...i dont expect you to treat me any different then youve treated your parents or anyone else until i earn the right for you to respect me......."

wow...so pwerful.

i have to honestly say at some of the stories i got a little teary eyed at the love these kids had for this man...and how thankful they are.