That's as messed-up as crapping yourself and stewing in it while someone takes your pic.

So check this out.

My buddy Mike is a big dude who has ZERO tolerance for bullsh!t. He lived in Haggett Hall at UW and his roommate was some kid from Shelton. His roommate had his buddy from Shelton come up for a party. His buddy got all sh!tfaced and told Mike's roommate he was going back to the room.

Apparently, he went into the can and proceeded to puke and sh!t himself at the same time. Then he crawled his ass down the hall back to Mike's room. Mike comes down the hall around 2:30 and sees this smeared sh!t trail heading to his door. He opens the door and there's his roommate's buddy, all poop-smeared, passed out on HIS bed. He's like WTF!?!?!?

So he wraps the f*cker up in the sheets and blankets and drags him out into the stairwell. Then he takes out the bag of clothes the kid brought with him and proceeds to wipe up the floor with his clothes and a bottle of mouthwash dude brought along. Then he tosses his bag out in the stairwell, too. Then he crashes on his roommate's bed.

Mike said he never saw that f'er after that. His roommate apologized for his buddy, and bought Mike a new set of sheets and a blanket, and traded in Mike's mattress for one that hadn't been crapped on.

The f'n look on Mike's face as he was telling this story was simply priceless. I don't think Shelton-pooper-boy realized how close to death he came.