I just never got the "I have to ask her/him before i____."

I would approach this issue by explaining the importance of the activity to you. In my mind, marriage doesn't entitle anyone to be mom/dad, jailer, ball and chain, nag, the ol man/lady. It is an equal partnership, not a jail sentence in which one has to ask "Permission". Now obviously, some things are not negotiable in my mind, and deal breakers, but crap... working 60+ hours a week, dealing with all the stress we all have to bear these days, we all need some sort of relief valve.

Second marriage for me. I thought about the things that made me happy, then luckily found a SO that enjoys the same things. Very fortunate, maybe, but i wasnt' looking for a golfer, soccer player etc. i dont like those things and dont do them. Hookin up with some one who does would have been gravely inconsiderate on my part. Married 20 years, and having a blast.

by the looks of the picture, she not only can run a boat, but appears to enjoy it... I think you are closer than you think to a resolution. Maybe its just that if you are hopping a ride, obviously she cant go along all the time, and probably doesnt want to but she feels left out. ask her, perfectly understandable. Get yourselves a boat for a wedding present... and take her fishin...after of course you have a serious talk.. iron it out before.. because it won't get easier after...

good luck.