I was making fun of him for not catching fish...for the record.

A pink piece of yarn is just as effective, probably more so, than a finely dressed fly. No need to go beyond that if getting one to bite is your only interest.

One of my favorite and most often used knots in high angle rigging/rescue applications is known colloquially as the BFK (big fukkin knot). Turns out there is some truth in the age old adage "if you don't know a knot, tie a lot."