Speaking from experience here, spend the money on a good attorney. I can't say that it has to be a woman. I tried that route and the female attorney I found didn't want to work for me as hard as I wanted her to. You will pay the price one way or the other in child support and maintance. You can bet that you’re soon to be ex will get the best "your" money can buy. You will get over being snake bit in a few days, weeks, months, years, decades. Give yourself some time to decide what you want from a relationship before you start one. Stam may have access to the "ranch" and you can try something a bit different. Not all women are Biatches, some can make very fine companions and if you share a few interests outside the bedroom it will be that much better. Don't ever let your anger with the ex get in the way of your relationship with your children and don't let them down by crawling into a bottle or pipe.
Cancel all creditcards that are in both of your names and pull out half of all the money in the bank before she pulls it all out. Don't rack up a bunch of debt and make sure that she can't do it in your name either or you will get stuck with it. Get all your personal belonging out of the house if you want to keep them or expect to buy them back in the settlement or off of Craigslist. Throw all you’re fishing and hunting gear in your boat and stick in a friends garage. Don't let her get a restraining order against you before you get your stuff or say good by to it.