I've always hated that about divorce. Even though this is a community property state, I told my wife we would split our collective retirements starting from what has been put aside the day we got married, and she could keep what she had in her 401k before we got married (several hundred grand).

I also told her fair is fair. She makes $100,000/year and I make $50,000/year, so our share the kids expences following divorce should be based on that ratio, I.E., I pay 1/3 and she pays 2/3's. THAT tipped her over bigtime when I first brought it up, but she's on board with it now.