There once was a famous Portland attorney who leased the duck hunting rights on a field in the Nehalem valley. Now this attorney was an arrogant s.o.b. who never got along with any of the neighboring farmers.
One day the attorney shot a nice mallard drake that fell on the other side of the fence. The attorney hopped up onto the fence to go over to retrieve his duck. The neighboring farmer was passing by on his tractor and came over to ask the attorney what he thought he we doing. The attorney said "I'm going to get my duck".
The farmer replied "No you are not, this is my property and I will not let you on it".

Again the attorney, who is getting angry, told the farmer in no uncertain terms that he was going to get his duck and again the farmer threatened to have him arrested for trespassing if he crossed the fence.

The attorney finally said "Do you know who I am??? I am the most powerful, highest paid attorney in the Portland area. When I send a subpoena to people they are so scared they lose control of all bodily functions. If you don't let me get my duck I am going to tie you up in the worst lawsuit you can imagine. You will lose all your land, your money, your family, everything you have."

The farmer thought about that for awhile and then said "Now I know that there is probably no way that I could fight someone as intelligent as you and Lord knows I don't have the money for a long lawsuit. So what do you say that we solve this problem using the Nehalem Three Kick Rule". "This rules state that I get to kick you three times, then you kick me three times and we go back and forth until someone gives up."

Now the attorney is 35 years old, works out at the Multnomah Athletic Club daily and is looking pretty buff. The farmer looks like a poster boy from AARP.The attorney grins and states "you are on, old timer"

The farmer then walks up to the attorney and lays a hard kick right to the groin. As the attorney snaps over the farmer puts a heavy boot to the side of his thigh. The attorney crumples to the ground and the farmer kicks him so hard in the ribs you can actually hear them cracking.

The attorney lays on the ground for a little while and then gets up, brushes himself off and says "Alright Old Man, now it is my turn"

The farmer looks at the attorney and says
"Nah....You Win...I give up....you can have your duck"


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