Two guys on their way home from work stop at the bar... They drink a bunch and one guy says I gotta go home, I am getting pretty drunk. The other guy talks him out of it and they start doing straight shots.. after awhile the fist guy is so hammered he up and pukes all over himself.. oh my god.. my wife is going to kill me now, I'm late, I'm drunk, and now I have puke all over me. His freind says.. no worrys buddy, just stick a 20 dollar bill in your shirt pocket, when your wife asks about all that puke, just tell her someone else puked all over you and gave you the 20 to cover the dry cleaning bill. So off he went stumbling home. When the wife see's him she is pissed off big time... your drunk and late and look at you.. you have puke all over yourself. He tells her... wait honey, I did'nt do that some other guy did it and gave me this here 20 dollar bill to cover the cleaning bill. She pulls the money out of his shirt pocket and says.. this is 40 dollars.. to which he replys,, Oh.. I almost forgot..he **** in my pants too