I know right! Hatin' on dogs is like, the #1 most flagrant red flag that's even possible.

I remember one time going out to dinner, we got seated next to a young family with 2 - 3 kids. They were all very nice and well behaved at their table. A really cute & happy young family. But the kids were "too close" to us, so we HAD to move a few tables over. Fookin' really? REALLY??? Made my blood boil, but I zipped it to keep the peace. The end was nigh at that point.

Fellas - I'm single because I don't fuckin' play. I grew up with ALL women. Sisters, mom, step-mom and all 1st and 2nd cousins were girls. I am literally the only male in my extended family. A couple of ex-fiances and lots of ex girlfriends. I know all of the tricks, scams and manipulations and am probably too smart for my own good and to my current own detriment. I was born and molded into this pain. I'll give a ton, my fair share and will be flexible and fluid throughout. A rock. But there are just some things that this dude just can't abide.

The rules as follows:
1. No hatin' on dogs
2. No hatin' on kids
3. No spitting of my vitamin love
4. Must have above average sammich skills without the need for aid or instruction
5. WILDCARD BONUS ROUND: A rich dad who's "the bestest daddy in the whole wide world!".

Single moms. Ok - at 44, I've come to admit that the odds are getting longer on finding an attractive single gal that doesn't already have kids, that still wants to have kids (the unicorn). So, I've reduced my standards to include single mothers as long as they meet the follow criteria. These standards shall never waiver:

1. No single moms with multiple baby daddies. Full send OUT!
2. Your relationship with your ex must meet the following criteria:
a) Your ex is so fookin' cool and we'd get along so well, that we can have beers and bbq and be just fine. A dude I'd want hang out with if'n it wasn't just for the shared kids. This is the situation I'd hope for because it would be best for the kid(s) and their dad and mom. And by default me. Happy Happy.
B) 100% completely out of the picture. Dead, prison for life or ran off to Thailand with a young lady-boy. Don't care. Permanently gone.
*** There is to be no in-between these 2 standards. Anything inside of these upper and lower spec limits is nothing but pain and drama and more pain. This is the no go zone.
3. Wants more kids. I wouldn't mind pumping out a spawn or two of my own. I owe the world a fvck you or two anyways.