Nate. I'm going to get serious here for a second. Uncharacteristic,I know. This stood out to me like a huge red flag;

"
we get out, Katie starts walking, i lock the car and say "Thanks bud", i get about 5 feet, and hes like "thanks for what punk", i turned around, and said what? hes like thanks for what boy!? so i started walking back to the car... get to my door and say "wtf is your deal? i said thanks for shutting the door"... he mumbled some bullsh!t about "getting me", so i told him to mind his own fvckin business before he gets wrecked...."

When this knucklehead called you a punk,your pride and your anger was what followed. Who gives a [Bleeeeep!] what that piece of trash had to say to you? Just walk away. But you walked BACK towards him and continued dialogue with an unreasonable person.

Listen. I have seen some violence in my day. I've gotten my ass beat. I've delivered ass whuppins. I'm not a fighter either. I'd like to think I'm a pretty mellow likeable guy.

My best friend was murdered at gunpoint and died in my arms when I was 18. My friend Joe was stabbed in the back by Nortenos on a crowded street. My other friend was jumped by G.I.s in the 80s and beaten with a hammer. I have had guns and knived pulled on me. I used to think I was the victim in all of it. Turns out now that I am much wiser ,and older, that each of these incidents could have been largely avoided,other than my friend getting jumped,that wasn't his fault. All the others had cause and effect.


Dude we create our realities. You may not think you are a magnet for drama. Yet here you are arguing with people on a fishing internet board. Did they just magically attack you or have you made yourself a big target? I have never met you. You seem deep down to be an ok guy from our messaging back and forth. And I used to be first to talk crap to people like you who excessively leave themselves open to the cyber beatdowns. My favorite was a guy named BLADES . I'm a much kinder person now,and also I really dgaf anymore about ,well really much in the way of what isn't important to me.


I type all of this because I think perhaps it would behoove you to talk to a professional about your anger. And yes you have anger. I was one pissed off mother [Bleeeeep!] for a long time,and rightfully so,seeing how my childhood and early adult life was a complete s**t show for me,but at some point my behavior stopped working for me. I hope that you are at some point able to step back and say to yourself " I need to change some of this behavior". Life is too short. It's one thing to protect yourself. But another to have to prove yourself. Newsflash: no one gives a f**k if you're a tough guy. There is always someone badder,crazier,and frankly it just takes too much energy to always be hyper vigilant. Why are you always looking to "protect yourself". Perhaps that tiger hiding in the bushes is inside of Nathan.

I hope you read this and know it comes from a place of love. Lighten up dude. Our time here is limited. maybe time to let all the bravado go and try meditation or therapy. Seriously bud. You have a lady, and your life is valuable regardless of what you drive ,how much or little cash you have, and who gives a god damn what people think of you,f**k them,live your life.