A guy is drinking in a bar and gets really drunk. He's so drunk that he throws up on himself. He says to the bartender, "my wife is going to kill me, she just bought me this shirt and I puked on it". The bartender says, "put $10 in the pocket and when you get home, tell your wife that your friend got drunk and puked on you and he gave you $10 to get the shirt cleaned". So, the drunk goes home and his wife greets him at the door and asks him what happened to his new shirt. The drunk husband replies, "my buddy threw up on me and he gave me $10 to get the shirt cleaned, there's $10 in my shirt pocket." She reaches in his pocket and pulls out a $20 bill. She says, "this is $20, not $10". The drunk husband replies, "he sh!t in my pants, too".