A guy goes to his doctor. "Doc, my eyes are bulging out of the sockets. What can you do to cure me?"
After looking at the guy's charts and examining him the doctor says, "I'm sorry, but the only medical cure is to cut off your testicles."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. But you can get a second opinion if you like."
After seeing four more doctors who all gave him the same answer, the guy decides to have the surgery. A month after the surgery, the guy is depressed and decides to buy a new suit. The tailor starts to measure and calls out measurements to his apprentice. "Chest: 38! Inseam: 34! Waist: 36!..."
"Wait a minute!" the guys says. "I wear 30-inch waist pants!"
The tailor looks up at him and says, "Are you crazy? That would make your eyes bulge out."
_________________________
When at first you don't succeed, blame your parents and accept defeat...