Customized for the Quimper Peninsula!


NEW BARBIES!



Seattle Barbie: This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with a
Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She
has a masters degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a
stay-at-home mom with Ken's generous salary. Comes with Percocet
prescription and Botox. Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming Blackberry
internet/cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing,
golfing, baseball and is often "working late." Available at all
Seattle-area Starbucks retailers.



Bainbridge Island Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at
Nordstrom, in Seattle. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade
handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer H2 and a longhaired
foreign lapdog named "Honey." Also available is her cookie-cutter
development McMansion.
Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation.
Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.



Bremerton Barbie: Pregnant at purchase, this teen Barbie comes with a
stroller and bus pass. Also included is a G.E.D. and a completely filled
out food stamps form. Sailor Ken and his '82 Caddy are optional.
Available at Value Village.



Port Townsend Barbie: This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and
tofu.
She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no
make-up, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not want, or need,
a Ken doll.
If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive a free
rainbow flag sticker. Available at Swains.



Port Hadlock Barbie: This recently-paroled Barbie comes with a glass
pipe, sunglasses, '78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth
labkit. This model is available only after dark and can only be
purchased with cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then
we don't know what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail.
Available at local area thrift stores.



Quilcene Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a
pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she
chased Beer Gut Ken out of Chimacum Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble
includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry
lip-gloss and a see-through halter-top. Purchase her Ford pick-up truck
with gun rack separately and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker
absolutely free.
Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at Frank's Surplus.



Brinnon Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans
2 sizes too small, steel-toed cowboy boots, a classic Metallica 'T'
shirt and a Tweedy Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has fake
fingernails, a six-pack of Budweiser, and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set.
She can spit over a distance of 6 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass
when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring
that Ken gave her after another one of his "episodes" with his boss's
daughter. Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at
Wal-Mart, in Shelton.



Discovery Bay Barbie: This versatile doll can be easily converted from
Barbie to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Does not work.
Likes to "experiment," but will never commit. This model is being phased
out and is only available from the manufacturer.