What is that useless bit of flesh around a Vagina called?



A Woman!





How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

Marry It!



What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.



What are the three fastest means of communication?

1) Internet

2) Telephone

3) Telawoman



How are fat girls and mopeds alike?

They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.



Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a

waist?

Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.



How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?

Put a nipple on it.



What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, she's been told twice already.



If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have

you done wrong?

Made her chain too long



How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.



Why do men pass gas more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.



What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told



Why do men die before their wives?

They want to...