A Woman's Perfect Day


8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses


8:30 Weigh-in 5 lbs lighter than yesterday


8:45 Breakfast in bed-freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants;open presents- expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner


9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil


10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer


10:30 Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave


12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe


12:45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notice that she has gained 22lbs


1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit


3:00 Nap


4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer


4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk-says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body


5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe


7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/ dancers


10:00 Hot shower- alone


10:50 Carried to bed. freshly ironed, crisp, white linen


11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling


11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms



A Man's Perfect Day


6:00 Alarm


6:15 Blow job


6:30 Massive, satisfying [censored] while reading the sports section


7:00 Breakfast-steak and eggs, coffee and toast-all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot


7:30 Limo arrives


7:45 Several beers en route to the airport


9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet


9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)


9:45 Play front nine (2 under par)


11:45 Lunch-steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Peringon


12:15 Blow job


12:30 Play back nine (4 under)


2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons)


2:30 Fly to Bahamas


3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot


4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)-on light tackle


5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle Macpherson


6:45 [censored], shower and shave


7:00 Watch news-Michael Jackson assassinated


7:30 Dinner-lobster appetizers, Dom Peringon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits


9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies


11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer


11:30 Night-cap blow job


11:45 In bed alone


11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room


11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep