Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping
wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter said, "You died in
your sleep, Ralph."
Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to
live for. Send me back!" St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's
only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm
near his home.
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and
pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your
first day here?"
"Not bad," replied Ralph the hen, "but I have this strange feeling
inside. Like I'm gonna explode!" "You're ovulating," explained the
rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"
"Never," said Ralph.
"Well, just relax and let it happen," says the rooster. "It's no
big deal."
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an
egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He
soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back
of his head, and heard his wife shout.....
"Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're shitting in the bed!"